In Chicago, I produce films, television, commercials, advertiser-supported free compilation CDs and DVDs, and other items of political and artistic interest. Thank you for tuning in, and be sure to check out my website

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Copywriter Seeking Art Director For Spec Book

I am a freelance copywriter seeking an art director to develop one of these campaigns or one-offs for my spec book. I can only pay $10 per ad, but I wouldn't expect you to sign up unless you thought the ideas would work in your portfolio as well. If you think we can work out a win-win situation, and maybe even if you have a website where I can see some of your previous work, please send me an email at, or call at 773-235-8886
Rich Seng

LAVA: (Picture for each ad a variation on dirty hands being washed).
1. Carpenters always finish with a random orbital sander.
2. Every landscaper today details with crushed volcanic rock.
3. All welders clean their joints with a heavy-grit grinder.
Tagline: Clean to the Bone

ORKIN:(Graphic of roaches, ants, and mice, in order).
1. We take care of everything. You just give the kiss of death.
2. If there are too many to whack by yourself, put out a contract.
3. We could break their legs, but that wouldn’t stop them from reproducing.
Tagline: A Legitimate, Family Business

THE ECONOMIST: (Text only, no fancy graphics)
1. For as much as “The Man” keeps people down he does let them read his mind.
2. World affairs are not controlled by just a handful of people.
825,392 subscribers are way more than a handful.
3. We are not the intelligence wing of the New World Order, and if we were, we would deny it.
Tagline: Be In The Loop

SUZUKI MOTORCYCLES: (Picture of motorcycle in foreground for each ad.)
1. It’s what the Japanese use to outrun Tsunamis.
2. If Mt. Fuji erupts, the locals are ready.
3. From zero to sixty seconds away from Godzilla.
Tagline: Speed Away

1. If you got shot, at least you got a shot.
(Picture of a Confederate soldier standing with crutches and an amputated leg.)
2. Reconstructing the South lasted thirty years, but it only should have taken ten.
(Picture of Richmond Virginia bombed out after Civil War).
3. It’s now 26 times those damn Yankees won the World Series.
(Picture of an old-time baseball team.)
Tagline: Numbing Pain Since 1862

One Offs:
(Picture of a recently clear-cut redwood forest adjacent to a lake. In the reflection of the lake is an upside-down image of the majestic forest that was once there.)

BOTOX: (Picture of a single grape amongst a spread of wrinkly raisins.)
No tagline.

NASCAR: (Picture of a hillbilly smiling. His broken teeth form a checkered flag)
No tagline.

TREK MOUNTAIN BIKES: On one of those yellow and black highway road signs that warn of curves in the road ahead, and that have a arrow point at the top, draw a straight line down from the top of the arrow cutting over the yellow parts that indicate ‘land’. The idea is to show that the bike is so tough it ignores road signs.
Tagline: Road Or No Road

ARTHUR MURRAY DANCE SCHOOLS: Headline: “Wallflowers never pollinate.”
I have a pretty specific idea here that uses the genetic symbols for men and women, and three colors: red, black and white. Sketch a top-down view of a gym floor. A single male symbol is against the wall on one side, and a lone female symbol is on the opposite side. In between are several pairs of men and woman symbols. In this scene, everyone else is dancing but the lone male and female on opposite sides of the gym floor. Do it all in B&W except draw the two lone symbols, with the headline, name of school, and the tag in red.
Tagline: Step Up


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